… intrinsically elegant …

Intrinsically Elegant… is what I am …

… according to an article that discusses the personality-traits that are common amongst people with my blood-group, that is.

Had me and Fiona in laughing-fits for the rest of the evening.

Then again, thinking about it, my lack of extrinsic elegance doesn’t mean I can’t be a George Clooney on the inside.

Heck, George I am!

Even if only on the inside.

Ok, giggles aside, there is something quite serious about the statement “I am”:

Like e.g. the other day when K. sends me this:

“I’m the type if you tell me something, teach..whatever.. I have to give it time to filter down.  You can tell me something one day and it just sits there.  Then after a day or so, it seems like I need to at least sleep on it then I can come back with questions etc.”

The “I am” statement here is:

“I have to give it time to filter down”

Now, whether true or not, there’s always an intrinsic (yeah, I couldn’t resist) danger with statements like “I am the type of person who …”  (in this case: “has to give it time to filter down”):

if you’re not careful, this type of statement (or should we say “belief”) can easily create and control your reality!

The more often you hear it, the more you find evidence in the world that what you believe is indeed ‘true’.

(as an example, if you’ve ever taken a “personality profile” like the DISC assessment, the first time you take it, you may discover that you’re ‘naturally’ rubbish at finishing things. The next time you take a personality profile, it’s almost like you’re looking for those questions that indicate that you’re great at starting things, and rubbish at finishing things. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy)

See, the more evidence you find, the more you’re reminded that in fact, “you are” just like that. (once again, it’s the good ol’ RAS in action…)

You “are” the type of person who “has to give it time to filter down”.

Now, don’t get me wrong:

I totally believe that we should focus on what we’re good at, where we have natural talent, and then hone that into a skill by repeated practice.

I also believe that I have certain limitations.

But having those limitations doesn’t mean that my life is now defined and ruled by those limitations!

Example:

If I were to accept that I “have to give it time to filter down”, I’m putting myself into a position where it’s only natural NOT to make decisions. NOT to take action.

“heck, I’m not going to take action, because I haven’t done enough filtering down yet”.

Now, if you’re in a position where you want to build a home-based business, making decisions and taking action is probably THE #1 activity you need to do all day long.

In this particular example, most likely, K. makes ‘better decisions’ after letting stuff filter down (which incidentally is only natural, your subconscious does tend to make better decisions than the conscious mind).

Does that mean K. shouldn’t make any decisions, not take action just because of the belief “I have to give it time to let it filter down”?

Not at all.

What K. MUST do is either

  1. get someone else to make the decisiomaking decisionsns,
  2. create a setup where “making decisions” isn’t that critical (entirely possible – especially with the Power-Of-1 model),
  3. develop an alternative decision making process that allows her to assimilate and understand more quickly (*)
  4. figure out if it really is a natural “I am” situation, or if it’s based on some underlying assumptions or beliefs. Or, of course,
  5. question that statement “I have to…” – and the implications. Which in this case could be: “do I really need the best decision, or is any decision better than no decision?”

(*) which can be as simple as ‘immersing’ yourself in the field … when you’re new to pretty much anything, and everything is an unknown, you simply cannot predict what the impact of any decision is. ‘Certainty’ and the ability to ‘manage risk’ comes with experience …

Either way, these blind-spots in our reality are one good reason for doing some work with a good coach, because their perspective (and reality) will be very different from yours, and they’ll be able to spot where you’re telling yourself “I am…” in a way that’s most likely hurting your progress.

And of course, they’ll celebrate with you the fact that you’re “intrinsically elegant”;-)

Veit

PS: What are your “I am”s that might be holding you back?

PPS: one of the “I am”s that the blood-type diet explains is my (insane) obsession with chillies. But that’s ok, it’s not really hurting progress, only my tongue… Here is my current crop, the first ones should be ready in about a week or so:

my lil' chillie farm

jalapenos nearly ready

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluslinkedinmail

Comments

  1. Alexander says:

    “I am” statements are often just accepted labels from family and friends.
    So my nick ‘professor’ from school still hangs with me…

    Cheers, Alex from Germany
    P.S. Veit: When the chillies are in the kitchen, you can call the fire fighters again 😉

  2. Kaye Kardell says:

    hummmmmm,,,
    still thinkin about it…
    lol

  3. Beautiful garden patch! I’m also the kind of person to… focus on the types of things I like to do and outsource the rest! Thanks for that, Veit You’re full of it! Helping people move forward with good coaching, that is : )

    • lol, full of it, yes, elegance of course;-)

      I keep telling myself that and I’ll have to start shaving on days other than the first of the month…

  4. Ockert Pretorius says:

    The self fulfilling prophecy thing…
    I have personal experience with “speaking those things that are not as though they were…”
    This is very, very powerful.

    The converse is also true. We have seen this come true for many people. If you continue speaking either negative or positive things about yourself, you start believing it.

    The same applies to what other people say about you with this one difference: you choose to accept or reject the statements.

    This then defines who you are: what you choose to believe about yourself.

    • thanks for that Ockert!

      now, here’s the kicker: generally speaking, these “general statements” happen to be true in one context, yet completely the opposite in a different context.

      Yet we take them to be ‘absolute truth’, just because the Internet told us, the personality type told us, the teacher told us…

      With stuff I have no patience for (general statement: I have little patience) I have very little attention to detail (general statement: I have no attention to detail, I’m a “big picture” person). Which is exactly what my personality profile (and now my blood-type;-) tell me…

      turns out, yes, in some contexts, patience certainly isn’t my strong point, yet in others, I can happily watch paint dry… and in some my attention to detail truly sucks, yet in other contexts I can drive people nuts by going all anal about minute details …

      lol, the funny thing is that by reading this post and the comments, everybody’s RAS is now tuned to their “absolute” statements of “I am” … meaning you can no longer use general statements, unless they’re “I’m intrinsically elegant” of course, which is true in all contexts;-)

  5. HI Veit

    I’m pleased to see your chillis have turned out well. Mine look like they have been watered with acid rain.
    I think it was something in the compost as they were grown in three different areas ‘just in case’ (spare room, greenhouse & shed). Other seedlings are looking similarly poor and the only connecting factor was the compost.

    I might take up your idea next year and get them started at a local nursery instead. Enjoy.

    Best wishes

    Tony

  6. Replace the Capital I am with little i Capital AM ie “i Am” – then you are whatever comes after the AM – so it’s all about Semantics and Readers Digest increase your word power has the answer to your growth; as you are whatever you place after the AM and that’s your decision – even if someone else tells you what comes after the AM – it is your decision to take it on board or not. So you Are what ever you decide in any moment.

  7. Wayne Cochrane says:

    G’day Veit.

    I am also concerned about the “I’m the type” in K’s statement.

    Sticking herself in a box with a whole lot of “likeminded” people?

    Hmmm…

    Personally I am just me, one of a kind, unique.

    How about you reader?

    Are you some “type” of person?

    Or just you?

    Wayne

  8. Good Morning, Good Doctor!

    Thanks for the spark, I have always semi-consciously known that self programming,
    And external programming (i.e. gossip), tend to script our lives.
    Been awhile since I thought about it, appreciate the reminder!
    Also, I appreciate you, Herr Doktor!
    Even if you still owe me a bottle of Hendricks ..:)

Speak Your Mind

*

Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy